Cupcakes be evil yet awesome
cup your hands around them protectively
lift them from the ground
gently kiss their fuzzy heads
say “peep peep” calmingly so as not to be pecked
Someone stuck a plunger on the back of a chicken FOR SCIENCE.
How do I get that job? Why was that career path never laid out for me when I was in middle school?
I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”
Latin American Studies Majors:
Religious Studies Majors:
Women & Gender Studies Majors:
I love everything about this post.
i hate it when a sentence doesn’t end the way i think it octopus
i hate when ppl are like “ew he’s ugly he has acne”
like u do know that people can’t control their acne
it’s not their fault
don’t be a dick
Me in the party: Gosh golly! This beat is… Whoo! This beat is… DANDY!
it breaks my heart knowing that i will never receive a blowjob
what the fuck why do so many people think they will never receive a blowjob
Because we have vaginas
You finger yourself??? Disgusting. Those fingers should be turning pages of the holy bible
gotta get em wet before you turn the pages tho
this is going to be the text post that sends me straight to hell isnt it
i type with no punctuation because i want to write sentences so long that people will run out of breath reading it and suffocate
by Fall Out Boy