Cupcakes be evil yet awesome
This will make a lot more sense to people who have seen the movie.
you had me at “hello” and you lost me at “i think your friend is cute”
It’s 2089. all cops have been replaced by genetically modified dogs that let children pet them, help old ladies cross the street, chase down criminals, never eat donuts, bark at cat-callers, analyze dna, easily track down murders, pee on white collar criminals, and tear the faces off of rapists. utopia has been reached.
How was this accomplished you ask?
Well its simple Dogs are colorblind
I think Spotify just threatened to kill me
In order to become the supreme adult, you must perform the seven wonders:
Not being afraid of teenagers
Calling the doctor yourself
Arguing without crying
Having a normal sleep pattern
Having an answer to the question ‘what do you want to do with your life?’
i didnt lose my virginity, i know exactly who has it
The Events in Ferguson will one day make a great movie for white people to feel guilty about and give an academy award to
and the story will revolve around a white journalist who ultimately realizes that wow, we’re all human
intelligence is such a turn on
so is a huge co*ck
why did you put an asterisk you still spelt the whole word
figures are literally so useless like what am i supposed to do with them when i get old??? pass them down to my children as family heirlooms????
"daddy, whats this?" "ah, its our precious family heirloom. its been passed down for years. its sasuke uchiha."
*snapchats and texts the same person at the same time*
Reblog if your cramps have ever
made you vomit
lasted between 2-3 days
stopped you from being able to walk or run
made you cry
It’s not considered a viable excuse on any occasion, and I would like to know why.
woken you up at night the pain was so bad
made you unable to stand up without doubling over and grabbing onto the closest object for support